Kids, Pets and Magick

Lora Craig-Gaddis

Those of us with children and/or pets have often wondered how to deal with them during ritual - personal and/or group ritual.   Of course, circle is not broken if crossed by an innocent. So, if your cat saunters through as you are conducting a ritual or your two year old wanders in to have a look, circle has not been broken. On the other hand, it may affect the mood.
There, also, may be a time when you would like to include your child or your pet. How should those situations be handled? What about older children? Should they be included in circle? The following are some ideas on how to address these questions.

Kids

There are many issues that must be addressed when dealing with kids and ritual. The answer is not one with a clear-cut answer. It has been the subject of many heated debates.  The issues fall into 4 basic categories. These categories are: 1) legal issue concerning children at skyclad rituals 2) disruptive children 3) adult bonding time 4) religious training of our children.

Legal issues concerning children at skyclad rituals

Most pagans try to teach their children that nudity is a natural, beautiful part of life and not necessarily sexual,
however, it can cause serious legal issues.  It can result in children being taken from their parents,
cause problems in bitter custody battles, as well as, legal charges being levied against the parents
and other members of the group.
Although it is tried to freedom of religion, I don’t really think a Southern judge or jury would see it that way.
And yes, it could be taken to a higher court, but the question is
“how many years would this take?” and “how would they rule in the end?”. 
It seems much simpler to reserve skyclad rituals for adults only.
Not only will you not have to deal with the legal repercussions,
but you won’t have to worry about a sexual predator slipping into the group and harming your children.

Disruptive children

Some feel that children should not be allowed to participate in rituals because they feel that the children
will be running and playing and disrupt the ceremony with their loud chatter.
However, while one child may be 8 years old and very disruptive, there may be a younger
child that is respectful and polite. So the issue is not simply a matter of age. 
Also, what is disruptive for one person may not be disruptive for the next -
so it is important to define what the group considers a disruption.

I think the best way to prevent disruptive children is two fold. First the group should set clear guidelines. This way everyone knows what is expected. Secondly, parents need to discuss these rules with the children, so that they understand the rules.
A great way to tell children the rules, in a way that they can understand is by using the“Moon Manners" that can be found at  http://www.pagancommunitychurch.org/GCmoonmanners.html

Adult bonding time

Some people feel that kids should not be allowed to attend ritual because they see it as a time for adult to bond. This is a valid point.  Everyone needs a time when they can bond with friends and those with like beliefs.  I, however, believe that it is equally important to allow children to attend and take part in at least some rituals. The solution, seems to me, that you can do both - have some ritual time that is strictly for adults and others where kids are welcome, even encouraged to attend.

Religious training of our children

Even though most of us are opposed to forcing our religion onto our kids, I think that it is very important for us, as Pagans to train our children in our spiritual paths. There is a middle ground between teaching our children nothing about spirituality and leaving them to figure it out for themselves; and forcing them to believe exactly what they are told, no questions asked.
Christians do not keep their children from attending the worship service. Even though the children may not completely understand everything that goes on, they get the general idea and learn as they attend more services. This same idea should be brought to our religious practices. I think it is said best here in
"Raising Pagan Children":
    

"Without a spiritual foundation, a child has one less tool which with to face life's critical moments. There is no guarantee that a spiritual upbringing will bring a carefree existence. But then, nothing in life comes with a warranty. I believe it is up to us to create what stability we can hope for, and certainly our spirituality is no small part of that stability. It is true that there are those who have managed life's pitfalls with an atheist platform, but very few people have been raised atheist, despite claims to the contrary. There is after all, a vast difference between a lack of active spirituality while growing up, and a determined choice to remove oneself from a belief in spirituality.

For myself, as a spiritual person I cannot endorse an upbringing for my child that precludes teaching my own faith. Moreover, I can find no validity to the concept that my children will somehow be confined in future choices by this upbringing. It seems antithetical to me that a parent can be deeply spiritual, find fulfillment and comfort with their path, and still feel it best to not guide their children in matters of religion. Who better to teach this most important of choices? More to the point, why remove this teaching from a child's life? We teach our children to be careful when crossing a road or dealing with strangers, we instruct them to do their homework and mind their manners. It is a fallacy to believe that a Pagan upbringing will rob children of the ability to self-determination when the time for such ability is ripe. Therein lies the crux of the matter; for a child of tender years can only learn what we, the parents choose to teach or allow them to learn. Teaching spirituality to our children is the first step to giving them the means to understand their place in the universe."

Author Unknown

The Child's Rede

Oh Gracious Goddess, Mother Earth,
I call to Thee with love and mirth,
Oh Horn-ed Hunter of the night,
I pray to Thee; show me thy light
As my heart grows strong
Teach me right from wrong,
Keep me safe
Keep me warm
So none will I harm,
So I will be
One with thee
As my will
So mote it be!
--Author Unknown

Helping Your Child Construct His/Her Own Altar

This is a great way for children to express themselves
and learn about the their parents beliefs. Explain the parts of the altar, color associations,the tools and their purposes.
Let him/her choose the objects, but keep safety concerns
in mind. Candles and sharp objects are strongly discouraged.
Feathers, crystals, a wand, or items found while on a nature walk are great.

Also, let your child help with decorating and upkeep of  your family's main altar. Not only do they learn from thisactivity, but it is fun and they feel that they are part of something bigger than themselves.

Pets

With pets, the issues are similar but it isn’t as simple as sitting down with your cat, dog or iguana
and having a long talk. It is, also, important to differentiate between a pet and a familiar. 
With a pet, you may wish, during certain very serious rituals to put them in a closed room
so that they are not able to disturb the mood of the task at hand. 
On the other hand, with a familiar, there will be times you feel that it is important to include them in the ritual. 

You can create a Book of Shadows for your familiar with the focus being work done with your familiar, be it ritual or divination.
Begin with a book blessing and an invocation to deity.
You can even create your own (Feline, Canine, etc.) Creed. This book is dedicated to your familiar and the magick is worked with the two of you on a more personal level of growth.
  The following rituals have been taken from the Feline Book of Shadows at WitchSchool.com but can be adapted for work with and type of familiar you choose:

Cat naming ritual

[Name] is thy name I bestow unto thee
[Name] is who I dedicate to thee
Thy name may come to thee,
To sound and bring magick three times, three, times three.
Thy life is lived free and sacred to thee
‘Tis my Desire, Intent, and Will
So Mote It Be!

Blessing of a Familiar

O sacred familiar
Wise and old beyond your years

Unto thee I send this blessing
Love and Light
Fire that burns with lighting of the night
Upon thy Witching Hour
Moons’ Power
I bestow upon thee
Thy Witches Power
Power of the ancients I call for thee
Bring the power of all ancestors unto thee
May the forces of the elements
Be blessed unto thee
Thy nature so bold and known to thee
Calling upon Bastet to honor thee
Blessings bestowed unto thee
In thy casting of magick
No harm ‘tis done
‘Tis my Desire, Intent and Will
So Mote It Be!

So, while there are a many challenges when working with kids and animals in
magickal rituals and divination, I feel that it is important to find ways to include these
precious ones on our spiritual path.  It will not only benefit them,
but will help you grow on your own path and bring you and your child or familiar closer together.

Graphics from http://www.witchscanvas.com